Thursday, July 14, 2011

"WHY ME ?"...Don't Even Ask The Question

Well,why not me? Yes, it is a cruel and crude answer to the question of suffering, but you have to admit that asking "Why me?"is not going to bring any profitable answers,either. I refuse to even entertain thoughts that God or life is out to punish me and that i deserve to have Lyme disease. I am going to forget the thought that this was supposed to happen to me and that I can somehow change life's rules about fairness. Instead of comparing myself to my healthy neighbor,and asking, "Why me?", I am going to mentally jump on a plane to Rwanda,have a look at the sick children there and perhaps I won't feel as though I have been singled out for such agony! While weddings and holidays are spectacular occasions to notice how much better off friends and family are then myself, I should stop trying to push myself to go and lay low until things are better. I will at least counter the envy with a visit to the BBC newspage,where I can see that it is not just only me who has been served a hefty handful of hardship. Yes my pain is valid, but asking "Why me?"creates martyrdom that puts me in the victim seat and keeps me from moving forward. Even if I knew the answer, it would not get me any further along in my healing journey. I am going to allow myself to be okay with being chosen for this trial. This does not mean that I have to resign myself to it or love being here: it simply means that I accept that life can be unfair and tragic. I am just embracing the idea of the greater good that can come out of this experience with Lyme disease. So,by not asking myself, "Why me?", I can move onward in my healing journey and help others.

1 comment:

  1. Dear Katie, Your courage and insight are stunning. We all can learn so much from the strength you have and only hope to follow suit when we face our own trials. You are truly amazing. Love,Aunt Cheryl

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