Thursday, March 10, 2011
How is it possible to be this sick? I am always afraid to go to the docters appointment that will review my latest blood work. This time was very strange. I was the one who requested that on top of all the other tests I wanted a Lyme test also. My docter who I adore, and of coarse had my previous blood work looked at me like, "Are you serious? Why?". It has been very odd. After all I have been through, and all that I know about Lyme Disease, I was in this stage of denile. I thought that mabey I did not have Lyme any longer, it was all in my head and I just needed to push myself harder. Well, how wrong I was. When I heard and saw the test results, I felt all the hope blow out of me. This is not the average Lyme test either! This test is only done by a lab called; IGENEX, Inc. in Palo Alto, CA. As explained, the lab tested me for the 10 strains of Lyme Disease. Well, not only do I have Lyme, I have ALL 10 strains! Three strains are the most dangerous, and I have them the worst!!!! What? How is this possible? I felt like a falure. I actually told my docter that I cannot be this sick because I have a little boy and a husband to take care of. I also told him how dissapponted I was in myself because latley I could only take a shower and then I am done for the day. Why can I not push through it anymore? He said,"Katie,you are a human being. You have nothing to use to push yourself with." Kind of like," You can't get blood from a stone." I am now realizing that I have to do what I am so scard and tired of. PIC LINE and ROSEPHEN we will meet again. This is the fifth time. I do not want to miss anymore of my life (during this time). Then I think to myself,"this is no way to live life." So I will do what I have to do. So into the fire I walk.