Gratatude

I have to say Lyme disease is one evil illness. It not only makes you sick, it also plays with mind like nothing I have ever experienced. I am going to be REALLY honest. This week has been so awful that I considered taking my own life. I did not want my son to see me crying and screaming because of the pain I was in, and I felt such guilt that I could not "parent" him, I thought we might all be better off. I was telling him things like, "always stay sweet", "remember how much I love you",ect. I am telling you these spirocyets are so strong that once they are in your brain,(which in my case they are) there is no telling what they will do. I was not wondering "Why me", just much I more I could stand. Now for the past two weeks it has been like this, and today I am able to write this blog. I do not know how long I will feel this sane, but I don't want to be afraid of this disease. Truth be told,I am. Soooooo.......right now, second by second I am practicing GRATATUDE.